How did this happen?
I always thought this question sounded more like an accusation. But I never meant it that way, even if it could sound like I was asking who I should blame.
I’ve always asked that question with good intentions and watched people become defensive. They would start explaining themselves instead of helping me understand the work.
I've switched it a bit since.
Now I usually ask people if they can walk me through how they got to where they are. How they made the decisions that led them here. We then start with what they were trying to achieve. Then we talk about the deadline, the handover and when they started considering accessibility.
My tone matters as much as the words. I'm looking for the cause, not a confession.
I'll still say plainly when something excludes people, but I'll hold the blame and anything sounding like it to myself. Blame won't tell me whether they needed more time, better guidance or a different component.
So I ask the question and then give them enough room to answer.
And I listen.